Pink BOB Alex Silicone Vibrating Dildo Review

Have you ever got­ten lost try­ing to get from Florida to Michigan, and end­ed up in Colorado instead?

No exag­ger­a­tion. I know some­one who did that. He just nev­er asked for help because he believed that "God would take him to his destination."

Well, that's about how off-​base I found some reviews of Pink BOB's Alex real­is­tic vibra­tor. Other peo­ple like what they like, but I just couldn't fin­ish myself off with these vibra­tions. If you're going to get the Pink BOB Alex, use it as a dildo.

In this review:

• How to flame-​test a sex toy to see if it's silicone
• How does this sex toy feel as a dil­do? As a vibrator?
• When is the phrase, "good for begin­ners" bullshit?
• Should I buy this toy? If not, what else should I look at?

Pink BOB is a white-​label brand owned by Too Timid, a sex shop that was estab­lished in 2000. And the BOB part stands for "Battery-​Operated Boyfriend." I'm not a fan of the name, but you do you.

When I saw a sil­i­cone vibra­tor on Pink BOB's web­site for $20, my first thought was, "Is it sil­i­cone?" There's no label­ing reg­u­la­tion in the sex toy indus­try. So if you don't know who you're buy­ing from, how can you tell whether a sil­i­cone sex toy is body-​safe, for real?

You try to set it on fire.

By doing flame tests, you can observe how sil­i­cone behaves dif­fer­ent­ly from TPE, TPR, and jel­ly. To deci­pher the results of a flame test, check out Dangerous Lilly's guide. In short, flames on porous mate­ri­als spread real­ly quick­ly. Silicone might burn or melt in one spot, but the fire more or less stays iso­lat­ed and dies down right away.

How did Pink BOB's realistic silicone vibrating dildo react to fire?

I held a flame to the edge of the suc­tion cup (a part that I was least con­cerned about dam­ag­ing) and mon­i­tored for changes in the mate­r­i­al. The result: caught fire on a thin sur­face, but the flame quick­ly died out and left behind pale gray ash that I could eas­i­ly rub away. Indeed, the out­er lay­er of the Pink BOB Alex vibra­tor is real silicone.

That means it's chem­i­cal­ly sta­ble and, for prac­ti­cal pur­pos­es, safe for sen­si­tive ori­fices, as long as you take good care of it. Scrub the veiny parts well with a soft-​bristled tooth­brush. Use soap and water. Play with water-​based or oil-​based lubri­cant only; no sil­i­cone formulas.

But does the Pink BOB vibrator feel good?

As a dildo

Using the Pink BOB Alex vibra­tor as a dil­do, I can't com­plain much. It's rigid enough and has a suit­able girth to tilt and aim at my G‑spot and pos­te­ri­or fornix.

This vibrator's 6‑inch insertable shaft tapers from 1" at the coro­nal ridge to 2" at the balls, with an aver­age diam­e­ter of 1.65". If you're get­ting used to pen­e­tra­tion, you can start with the rel­a­tive­ly slim tip and work your way down the shaft as you get com­fort­able. If you're already com­fort­able with pen­e­tra­tion, it's still girthi­er down the shaft.

Overall, Pink BOB's Alex is worth the $20 if you plan on using it as just a dil­do and noth­ing more.

As a vibrator

The vibra­tions are use­less to me. I know the reviews on the web­site say that it's pow­er­ful and has soooo! many! set­tings! "If you can't find one that suits your fan­cy, I don't know what to tell you," said one review. That doesn't tell you any­thing about the type of pow­er or the type of set­tings this vibra­tor has, though.

Buzzy vs. rumbly vibrations

I'd seri­ous­ly rather rub myself off, because 7 out of 10 times I use this toy, I can't orgasm with it on my clit. Now, I'm not claim­ing that someone's per­cep­tion is wrong if they think it's pow­er­ful. It's just not the type of pow­er I enjoy; it's very buzzy and surface-​level. It tick­les quick­ly rather than shak­ing and rat­tling my cli­toris. It feels like a fairy exhal­ing in the vicin­i­ty of my clitoris.

Further, while I have found some weak­er and buzzi­er toys accept­able, it's because their tips were pointy so I could tar­get the vibra­tions better.

I checked my email and start­ed scrolling through Twitter. That's how bored I was. The oth­er 30% of the time I could (which is dif­fer­ent from want­i­ng to) squeeze out an orgasm with this Pink BOB vibra­tor, I found the orgasms short, sharp, and fleet­ing. It's hard­er to go for mul­ti­ple with this sex toy because, once I orgasm and my clit gets sen­si­tive, the vibra­tions feel pinchy.

Sure, I can orgasm with this toy, but it's hard­ly plea­sur­able. There are three pri­ma­ry out­comes for me using it cli­toral­ly: bored, numb, or one-​and-​done but bare­ly satisfied.

Speed range and pattern selection

I think the ulti­mate thing to look for in a begin­ner vibra­tor is ver­sa­til­i­ty in shape and a vari­ety of set­tings. Beginners don't nec­es­sar­i­ly know how much pow­er they'll need, so while ver­sa­til­i­ty is always a plus, it's cru­cial for begin­ners. The Pink BOB Silicone Vibrating Dildo bare­ly pass­es by this criterion.

It might have ten vibra­tion set­tings, but a mere 2 uni­form vibra­tion inten­si­ties and 8 pat­terns, con­trolled by one but­ton. If the steady vibra­tions can't reli­ably get me off, the vary­ing rhythms def­i­nite­ly can't!

My verdict on the Pink BOB Alex

The Pink BOB Alex vibra­tor is just fine for the price, I guess?

"But it's only $20!" only applies if you don't ever plan on using this toy as a vibra­tor. If you buy the Pink BOB Alex, buy it because it's one of your options for afford­able sil­i­cone that will last you a long time. Buy it because you like its size, shape, rigid­i­ty, and tex­ture as a dil­do. Don't buy it because you expect the vibra­tions to do much.

With the vibra­tions turned off, the Pink BOB Alex makes an okay first dil­do. It gets the job done. It's a mod­er­ate size that will suit many users — noth­ing more and noth­ing less. Enjoy the Pink BOB Alex's pen­e­tra­tion sensation.